is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
