We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
