when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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