Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
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How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Terrible idea I love it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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