I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
