The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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