I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
