shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think my fart just growled at me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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