You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
