I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
