garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
