You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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