Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Do vagina's smell?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
