i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots