I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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