Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again

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(408): View more from California

Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?

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(801): View more from Utah

At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.

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(425): View more from Washington

I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body

Fav 0 74 14
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(270): View more from Kentucky

U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk

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