Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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