I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
