Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
