I wish I could punch you in the face.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
