Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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