Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
