i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
