the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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