Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
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I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
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Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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