dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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