Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
