Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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