Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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