mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
