Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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