I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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