And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize