Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
