one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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