Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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