Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize