A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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