watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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