He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize