Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
