Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
