so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
50% drunk capacity currently
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
