Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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