would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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