So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
