Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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