She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
