Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
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