He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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