I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
