A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
