Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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