i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
