Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
