Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
