you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
