I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
