Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
