That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I wish there were birth control emojis
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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